I am about to free fall right into the heart of the abyss. I used to think I knew this abyss, but I was wrong. I only knew the very edges of her. Her darkest part was her centre, and I am heading straight for it as we speak. I’ve battled the abyss before. Perhaps not the deep, dark, derelict centre, but in my mind it was the abyss, so I am somewhat battle hardened. Somewhat. Is it intimidating? Sure. Does it bring on debilitating anxiety? Of course. Am I sure of my fall? Not a chance. Am I scared to the bone? Oddly not. I have some very strange sort of calmness as I head into this dark, twisted maze of nothingness. It’s going to be interesting, that I have no doubt. However, I’ve never felt so ready for anything in my life before. All my previous failures, and conversely my successes have perfectly contributed to mould the man I am now, the man standing on the very edge of his known existence, staring into an impaling blackness of nothing. I am convinced of this. I am ready to turn my back on all I have ever known. Of all I knew as comforting. To return home. Yes, I said it; home.
This ‘abyss’, is merely a scary mask the world puts on from the outside, to scare us all off from exploring the unknown; the place just beyond the trees. Why? Well it’s simple really. The mask we learnt to shy away from out of worldly fear, is merely a mask to distract us from what we know to be the Truth. From what we know to be who we are. A child knows exactly what he or she should grow up to be, exactly and succinctly. And then this all powerful, scary mask appears and scares the child in us to hide away. But not for good. That child is always there.
A mere catalyst is all that is required. A catalyst.
Remember this; They don’t want to see us happy. Grab my hand, it’s going to be one fascinating free fall into unbridled happiness.
Always chasing the horizon.
Photo taken at the Aberdare National Park in Kenya on one of my sojourns.